edenbound: ((Squall) Cold)
edenbound ([personal profile] edenbound) wrote2007-06-23 07:27 pm
Entry tags:

FFVIII: Overwritten

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Squall/Xu
Warnings: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Xu, sick with jealousy. For [livejournal.com profile] over_look.



It wasn't that Squall was a bad commander. That, in fact, was one of the things that really sickened Xu. Squall was a good commander, and he'd be a brilliant one if he worked on his people skills a little. She couldn't even blame his success on his popularity, because ninety percent of that had been gained because he was good at what he did, and not just because he looked good (though she allowed herself the comfort that he was good looking, so perhaps that had gained him a few more supporters).

There was a time that she had held that kind of position, commanded that amount of respect. She'd been second to Cid, and he'd been second only to Garden's sponsors. She'd been the one people followed with their eyes, the one people sidled up to during festivals to ask favours of. She caught those same people sidling up to Squall, nowadays.

It wasn't that she really wanted it for herself, either. It was just -- well, she deserved that much, surely. She'd been a SeeD when he was still struggling to lift his gunblade. She'd taught him. And then he'd been given the rank of commander, elevated above her, suddenly unquestionable, untouchable, given rights she'd never even considered having. He'd overridden her, overwritten her place in the whole story.

She'd curse him, hate him, work to destroy him, something, just on principle, if she could.

But the most galling thing about it all was that she didn't really want to. That, in the end, she loved him, too.

[identity profile] carolinegr.livejournal.com 2007-06-24 09:51 am (UTC)(link)
I do agree that the last sentence wasn't as poignant as other last sentences I've seen you write, but, hey, it's no big deal. It seems to me this person was waiting for you to write something like that so that they could tear it apart.

Anyway, don't stop writing!!! The reason I am saying this is that I love your FFVII fiction, and I would be sad if you didn't write anymore for this fandom (or at all).

I think your sentences flow well, your ideas are interesting and original, you don't hesitate to break cliches and stereotypes, and most of your last lines are killers. Your word choice is also excellent. Some phrases from your fics I still remember. (for example what you've written about Seifer's words stinging like a cut from Hyperion or something like that- for some reason, I find this sentence very memorable.) You are the best ffviii writer in my eyes, honestly.

After all, I am having my fingers crossed for another hot Squall x Seifer fic (as in Squall on top).

[identity profile] edenbound.livejournal.com 2007-06-24 11:08 am (UTC)(link)
Don't worry, I don't intend to stop writing. You're not on my personal journal's list, so you wouldn't know, but I've simply decided to spend more time on my writing and drop claims and such so I'm only writing what I'm really enthusiastic about. (I've kept a Seifer/Squall claim, so... :p)

Thank you for commenting. :)