![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
FFVIII: Overwritten
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Squall/Xu
Warnings: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Xu, sick with jealousy. For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
over_look.
It wasn't that Squall was a bad commander. That, in fact, was one of the things that really sickened Xu. Squall was a good commander, and he'd be a brilliant one if he worked on his people skills a little. She couldn't even blame his success on his popularity, because ninety percent of that had been gained because he was good at what he did, and not just because he looked good (though she allowed herself the comfort that he was good looking, so perhaps that had gained him a few more supporters).
There was a time that she had held that kind of position, commanded that amount of respect. She'd been second to Cid, and he'd been second only to Garden's sponsors. She'd been the one people followed with their eyes, the one people sidled up to during festivals to ask favours of. She caught those same people sidling up to Squall, nowadays.
It wasn't that she really wanted it for herself, either. It was just -- well, she deserved that much, surely. She'd been a SeeD when he was still struggling to lift his gunblade. She'd taught him. And then he'd been given the rank of commander, elevated above her, suddenly unquestionable, untouchable, given rights she'd never even considered having. He'd overridden her, overwritten her place in the whole story.
She'd curse him, hate him, work to destroy him, something, just on principle, if she could.
But the most galling thing about it all was that she didn't really want to. That, in the end, she loved him, too.
Pairing: Squall/Xu
Warnings: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Xu, sick with jealousy. For
over_look.It wasn't that Squall was a bad commander. That, in fact, was one of the things that really sickened Xu. Squall was a good commander, and he'd be a brilliant one if he worked on his people skills a little. She couldn't even blame his success on his popularity, because ninety percent of that had been gained because he was good at what he did, and not just because he looked good (though she allowed herself the comfort that he was good looking, so perhaps that had gained him a few more supporters).
There was a time that she had held that kind of position, commanded that amount of respect. She'd been second to Cid, and he'd been second only to Garden's sponsors. She'd been the one people followed with their eyes, the one people sidled up to during festivals to ask favours of. She caught those same people sidling up to Squall, nowadays.
It wasn't that she really wanted it for herself, either. It was just -- well, she deserved that much, surely. She'd been a SeeD when he was still struggling to lift his gunblade. She'd taught him. And then he'd been given the rank of commander, elevated above her, suddenly unquestionable, untouchable, given rights she'd never even considered having. He'd overridden her, overwritten her place in the whole story.
She'd curse him, hate him, work to destroy him, something, just on principle, if she could.
But the most galling thing about it all was that she didn't really want to. That, in the end, she loved him, too.
(frozen comment) no subject
I was not cruel, unkind, "unnecessarily condescending", or impolite. I said nothing about her as a person or her writing as unfit for birdcage liner. The reason I came back to comment was because I haven't noticed any progress since I made my first comment---it's still the same cookie-cutter scenarios, with characters being essentially interchangeable from one piece to the next (not the case here, though), and the errors with syntax and structure are still there. There hasn't been improvement. That's why I felt another comment was necessary.
Now I see why there hasn't been any. I have nothing further to say because I can see it won't do any good, since my criticism apparently does not help her. But wait, she doesn't want help, because it's just for fun, right? Or something? I thought I was giving encouragement to someone who wanted to improve, but since she doesn't actually care about improving,I can see I'm wasting my time.
I am glad she has no aspirations as a professional writer, because she wouldn't make it to a first draft.
(frozen comment) no subject
You may not have been (directly) impolite, but being as blunt as you are isn't particularly polite either. And since you do sound condescending, whether you think so or not, you were not respectful either.
Has it come to mind that perhaps your critique isn't the be all and end all of feedback and that not only might you be wrong, she also has every right to ignore your feedback?
Yes, she does this for fun, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want comments or feedback. I know she cares about improving. But again, the way you're doing it is not the right one.
And there your true self comes shining through. Congratulations. That's low.
(frozen comment) no subject
I am glad she has no aspirations as a professional writer, because she wouldn't make it to a first draft.
Good job! You're an asshole.
(frozen comment) no subject
However, I find this whole situation very fishy. You've been through this before and as far as I saw it was quite dramatic and drawn-out, and yet here you are, back again under a different name, doing the exact same thing you did last time? You and Nikki discussed it, as far as I'm aware, and she told you that your feedback is not helpful to her, as she's done again in this thread. So why are you here, doing it again and being just as rude and stubborn as ever?
She's been perfectly calm and polite to you and asked you to stop, and you haven't. I think this shows exactly where the problem lies in this situation. I'm a big fan of constructive criticism and I've left it for people who didn't accept it before, and I've learned that hounding that person, yelling that they must accept what you say, does absolutely nothing but upset them, make them unwilling to listen to you, and show you up as somebody with no manners and no respect for them as a writer.
(frozen comment) no subject
I'm sorry you felt the need to sink to saying such a thing. :/ I had thought you slightly more mature than that.
I've been thinking it over, and discussing it with other people; it's not that I'm simply dismissing your concrit out of hand. I don't find it especially helpful and you and I do not seem to get on particularly well. I'm not sure why you've seemed to view me as a personal mission. The truth is, you always comment exactly where I feel weak -- when it comes to grammar, which I've never been taught in any way, in FFVI fandom when I was just trying to get a handle on the environment, and at times like this when, yes, I'm emotional -- exams, the death of someone important to me, etc, a time when I'm writing simply for the sake of writing and am not truly satisfied with it myself.
I do want to thank you, because despite upsetting me and being, to my mind, overly confrontational with both me and my fiancée, you have made me think about things. For example, I'm pretty well known for biting off more than I can chew, claims-wise, and I've decided to drop a lot of claims so I can just focus on writing for what I genuinely feel enthusiastic about. This isn't all your doing, it's something I've been considering for a while, but this has basically given me a push into doing it.
However, I don't want this to happen again, as whenever you've left me concrit, I've felt more discouraged than helped at all, and you honestly have come off as fairly confrontational (this is obviously subjective, maybe you don't think you have). To that end, I'm banning you from commenting on this journal, and freezing the comment threads.