FFVIII: Overwritten

[edenbound]

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Squall/Xu
Warnings: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Xu, sick with jealousy. For over_look.


It wasn't that Squall was a bad commander. That, in fact, was one of the things that really sickened Xu. Squall was a good commander, and he'd be a brilliant one if he worked on his people skills a little. She couldn't even blame his success on his popularity, because ninety percent of that had been gained because he was good at what he did, and not just because he looked good (though she allowed herself the comfort that he was good looking, so perhaps that had gained him a few more supporters).

There was a time that she had held that kind of position, commanded that amount of respect. She'd been second to Cid, and he'd been second only to Garden's sponsors. She'd been the one people followed with their eyes, the one people sidled up to during festivals to ask favours of. She caught those same people sidling up to Squall, nowadays.

It wasn't that she really wanted it for herself, either. It was just -- well, she deserved that much, surely. She'd been a SeeD when he was still struggling to lift his gunblade. She'd taught him. And then he'd been given the rank of commander, elevated above her, suddenly unquestionable, untouchable, given rights she'd never even considered having. He'd overridden her, overwritten her place in the whole story.

She'd curse him, hate him, work to destroy him, something, just on principle, if she could.

But the most galling thing about it all was that she didn't really want to. That, in the end, she loved him, too.

Comments

(frozen comment)

[perotine.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry if it isn't helpful for you. That doesn't invalidate it. I'm not saying you shouldn't be emotionally involved; it's difficult to write anything and not very attached to it. However, that's not part of the critiquing process. You separate yourself from it and consider it accordingly.

Don't mention your credentials if you aren't actually interested in writing seriously. Either decide that you're doing this for fun and games or you intend to improve from it. You can't be both an amazingly gifted and brilliant writer who also happens to have their confidence "torn down" when somebody doesn't offer a comment without "Magnificent!" and "so beautiful!"

(frozen comment)

[edenbound.livejournal.com]

Part of the reason why I elected not to go to the writing course (you'll notice I did mention that) is because I don't feel in the right place for it mentally. When we talked before, I told you I had problems accepting concrit, and that it takes me time to come to terms with it. I am interested in writing seriously, but not yet. For now, I'm just having fun.

I've never claimed to be amazingly gifted or brilliant, though I'll take such compliments when they come my way. ;) I can take criticism, and indeed, my A Level coursework came back to me at least sixteen times before my teacher was done with it, but in this case, I find your concrit unhelpful and wish you to stop. It's not an unreasonable request, to my mind: some places have headers with the option to say you don't want concrit, etc. I don't mind concrit when I feel it helps, but all the concrit you have offered me, while technically correct and coherent, has not helped me. I'm not saying it's a failure in you, and it might well be a failure in me, but that's my concern, not yours.