I like the way that Gippal is a bit of an embarrassment to the soft-spoken Baralai, but I also like that Baralai doesn't seem to resent him for it, he's just resigned to it.

I like the way you've made Baralai's speech a little too formal and the way in which he criticizes himself for speaking that way. He does seem like the sort of person to be quite self-conscious and a little shy.