ext_65778 ([identity profile] mneme-forgets.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] edenbound 2006-03-28 07:06 pm (UTC)

I love how Gippal teases Rikku by referring to her baby as "a bump." It's sweet. I like his concern over how his lover and his friend will get along.

I like that Gippal is wise enough not to exercise his power over Rikku as a friend just to satisfy his curiosity.

I would just change the first sentence to read like this: " At first he's worried, but then he isn't . . ." just to keep verb tenses consistent.

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