edenbound: (FFVIII)
edenbound ([personal profile] edenbound) wrote2006-03-23 11:49 am

FFVIII: The Sun

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Seifer/Fujin
Warnings: None
Rating: G
Summary: He talks to her when no one else does. For [livejournal.com profile] fanfic100.



So she's sitting in the cafeteria, all alone, and she doesn't mind. She's always alone. She has a "funny eye" and an eyepatch and a dead arm that hangs useless, and though she's quick and clever in battle and class, nobody particularly wants her on their team 'cause she's weird. And she doesn't mind it at all, because hey, they're all assholes anyway and she can look after herself just fine.

He's there though, in the cafeteria, and he seems to her about twice as tall and impressive and strong as anyone else in the room. He's all golden hair and little smirk and that one strand of hair that falls onto his forehead, and he's like the goddamned sun because he smiles at her.

He smiles at her now, across the cafeteria, and she tries to ignore him and she's studying her drink, and then there's the scrape of the chair and a little click and slide of the tray on the table and he is sitting opposite her.

"Hard day's training, huh?" he asks her, and she doesn't know if he expects her to respond and she fumbles for words, toying with the straw of her drink and shifting in her seat until he looks up and smiles again. "I didn't think you were the shy type."

"I'M NOT."

She winces, because the words are too loud, but he grins and it's because of her and he's the sun and the moon and the stars and the earth beneath her feet and the air she breathes.

She's never been in love before, and she doesn't know if she is now, but that's what it feels like.

"I didn't think so. Want to come to the training center with me later?"

Yes, she says, silently, and then forces it out through the barrier that has kept her silent so long, "YES."

And he grins at her again.

[identity profile] mneme-forgets.livejournal.com 2006-03-23 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
This is an excellent character study of Fujin. I love the sad lonely sorts of thoughts that you give her. They don't like her because she's weird and she doesn't want them because they're stupid like that. It makes sense for her to be so worshipful of Seifer in such a context.

I really enjoy the way you make her all-caps speech the result of the way she is unaccustomed to speaking.

Nitpicking:
"So she's sat in the cafeteria, all alone, and she doesn't mind." So this is merely a matter of opinion, but "sat" strikes me oddly here, since the rest of the story is in the present tense. I would use "sitting," I think.

[identity profile] edenbound.livejournal.com 2006-03-23 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee, I can't possibly reply to all your comments/concrit so thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou for all of it. :DD

Hmm, thank you, you're right, though, "sitting" does fit better. :3

[identity profile] mneme-forgets.livejournal.com 2006-03-23 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
You're welcome *smiles* and I know I am commenting crazy a lot - but you have so many short and good little stories so it's easy. :D