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Entry tags:
SPN: State of Being
Fandom: Supernatural
Main characters: Castiel, Jimmy
Referenced characters: N/a
Pairings: Castiel/Jimmy
Warnings: None
Rating: PG13
Summary: It's too much, but that's not always bad.
Notes: Not... sure I got what I was aiming for. But there needs to be more Castiel/Jimmy in the world. No spoilers for S5 beyond perhaps the first episode.
Castiel's presence inside him is perpetually too much. He thought it was pain, at first, searing, like a comet inside him, riding him, splitting him open and using him up. He doesn't know what changed: Castiel, or himself. He only knows it's different now, since he accepted Castiel within him once more. He feels filled up now, instead of too full; protected instead of wide-open; warm instead of seared. It's still too much, but it's too much in the same way as it sometimes is just before you come, too much in a way that flirts with both pain and pleasure.
He's aware now, more often than not. He walks with Castiel, speaks with him. He died with him, rose with him. He thinks now that there's no separating them, that they're beginning to blur together, be as one.
He wants that with a startlingly sharp longing. To be with Castiel, to be of Castiel, a part of Castiel. It's all he ever wanted, and for none of the right reasons.
Castiel inside him is like a pressure on his skin. If he was just a little more in control, he thinks their body would be constantly, perpetually aroused. He should find it embarrassing, but there's no room in him for that -- not with Castiel's reassurance, Castiel's acceptance. Castiel knows how he feels.
Sometimes, in dreams, they sit together. Jimmy knows it's real, in a sense that dreams usually are not. They will sit side by side, shoulder to shoulder -- always touching, because Jimmy would feel bereft, somehow, otherwise.
Sometimes, Jimmy will reach out and take Castiel's hand, lace their fingers. Castiel was, at first, stiff, resistant. Now he lets it happen easily. Now Jimmy will rest his head, perhaps, against Castiel's shoulder. And perhaps Castiel's other hand will come up, brush through his hair, cup the back of his head.
Jimmy knows that one day, he will ask for more -- when they're ready, both of them, ready together.
For now, he simply sits, and knows that he's never been more complete in all his life.
Main characters: Castiel, Jimmy
Referenced characters: N/a
Pairings: Castiel/Jimmy
Warnings: None
Rating: PG13
Summary: It's too much, but that's not always bad.
Notes: Not... sure I got what I was aiming for. But there needs to be more Castiel/Jimmy in the world. No spoilers for S5 beyond perhaps the first episode.
Castiel's presence inside him is perpetually too much. He thought it was pain, at first, searing, like a comet inside him, riding him, splitting him open and using him up. He doesn't know what changed: Castiel, or himself. He only knows it's different now, since he accepted Castiel within him once more. He feels filled up now, instead of too full; protected instead of wide-open; warm instead of seared. It's still too much, but it's too much in the same way as it sometimes is just before you come, too much in a way that flirts with both pain and pleasure.
He's aware now, more often than not. He walks with Castiel, speaks with him. He died with him, rose with him. He thinks now that there's no separating them, that they're beginning to blur together, be as one.
He wants that with a startlingly sharp longing. To be with Castiel, to be of Castiel, a part of Castiel. It's all he ever wanted, and for none of the right reasons.
Castiel inside him is like a pressure on his skin. If he was just a little more in control, he thinks their body would be constantly, perpetually aroused. He should find it embarrassing, but there's no room in him for that -- not with Castiel's reassurance, Castiel's acceptance. Castiel knows how he feels.
Sometimes, in dreams, they sit together. Jimmy knows it's real, in a sense that dreams usually are not. They will sit side by side, shoulder to shoulder -- always touching, because Jimmy would feel bereft, somehow, otherwise.
Sometimes, Jimmy will reach out and take Castiel's hand, lace their fingers. Castiel was, at first, stiff, resistant. Now he lets it happen easily. Now Jimmy will rest his head, perhaps, against Castiel's shoulder. And perhaps Castiel's other hand will come up, brush through his hair, cup the back of his head.
Jimmy knows that one day, he will ask for more -- when they're ready, both of them, ready together.
For now, he simply sits, and knows that he's never been more complete in all his life.
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