FFVIII: Lines in the Sand

[edenbound]

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Seifer/Squall
Warnings: Alternate Universe, angst, sap
Rating: PG
Summary: Squall and Seifer talk properly for the first time in years. For candywrapper, converted from an old AU roleplay where they never went to Garden, and Squall is both an artist and anorexic.


Squall is alone. He's actually sat on the beach for once, mostly to get out of the way of the others -- drawing with his finger in the sand and throwing the pebbles he comes across towards the water. He ignores Seifer when he hears him coming -- knowing it'll be him, going for his regular swim. When Seifer pauses and looks over his shoulder to see what he's doing, he runs his fingers over the patterns quickly and destroys them, nodding in the barest greeting.

Seifer doesn't take the hint that he's unwelcome, but plops down next to him on the warm sand. "Why'd you wipe them away so quickly?"

"They'll just get destroyed anyway."

Seifer rolls his eyes, stretching out and propping himself up on his elbows, keeping his eyes on the patterns Squall is constantly drawing and erasing, creating and destroying. "Yeah, by you, mister fatalist."

"If I don't rub them out, someone will trample them anyway, or they'll be washed away, or something. Why let them be messed up? It's enough to draw them once and then rub them out. I've seen them."

"Why not enjoy them as long as you can?"

Squall hesitates for a moment, and then shrugs. "In case they get spoiled for me, I guess."

"Who says they'll be spoiled? What's to say they won't be there forever?"

Squall snorts for a moment, looking up at Seifer and finding him stretched out completely, his eyes closed, looking like he's just soaking up the sun. He's surprised at himself for talking to Seifer so easily, after so, so long. "The weather, I guess, and the fact that people do walk on this beach that wouldn't care about my patterns."

"Okay, fine, but that doesn't mean you should just wipe them away. You need to give things a chance once in a while."

There's silence after that, Squall just shrugging slightly. Seifer stretches out even more, digging his toes into the fine sand, while Squall keeps drawing his own patterns. After a while, Squall shifts slightly, stretching his legs out with a grimace. Seifer looks up, opening one eye.

"You'd be more comfortable without the fetishpants, you know. Who wears leather in this heat anyway?"

He shrugs. "It's too hot to struggle with my belts now I've got them on."

Seifer looks at him and then blinks, sitting up and arching his back a little, stretching luxuriously. "Djeez fuck, the fetish continues. Don't you know that one is generally enough? Or are you into bondage nowadays?"

"You've only just noticed my belts? I've been wearing them about a week now..."

"I don't spend my days looking at your ass." There's a pause and then Seifer reaches out, 'correcting' a few details of the patterns drawn into the sand, and then looking up at Squall with a smirk. "There."

Squall doesn't say anything for a moment, just bites his lip and stares at Seifer as if he's seen a ghost. Seifer rolls his eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing, just..." He shrugs. "You used to do that when we were kids, always changing my drawings, hanging over me, making me include you... You haven't changed, apparently. Even though..."

Seifer snorts softly. "No wonder I bug the hell out of you."

"I didn't used to mind."

There's silence again and Seifer flops down again -- on his front, this time. Squall finds himself watching Seifer, eyes tracing the curve of his shoulders, his back -- his fingers itching all of a sudden to draw the scene. He keeps as quiet as possible, memorising every detail for later, when he has his sketchbook and pencils again.

Seifer breaks the silence. "Wake me up if necessary, will you, don't feel like getting a fucking sunburn."

"Yeah," Squall says, quietly. "Okay."

There's another stretch of silence and then Seifer looks up, catching Squall's eyes on him and smirking a little as he looks quickly away, annoyed at being caught staring, wishing he could truthfully say that it was just artistic interest, not anything more hormonal and stupid.

"I know you're looking at me," Seifer says, once he's closed his eyes again and Squall's eyes have returned to him. He opens his eyes again, smirking. "Don't be so embarrassed. You look like Matron caught you with your hand in the cookie jar."

"Like that would happen," he says, before he can stop himself, unable to stop a flinch of instinctive dislike at the thought.

"Oh, right, forgot, angsty little boys don't eat."

"I do eat."

"When someone makes you, but that's not what this is about." Seifer takes a breath, sitting up and moving a little closer. "Remember what I said earlier, about giving things a chance and not wiping them out right away?"

"Yeah..."

"Think you can agree with that?"

Squall's eyes flick down to the patch of sand, where one pattern remains, a little scuffed, but still there. He doesn't say anything and Seifer smiles -- getting the message, as he always did. He reaches up and cups Squall's cheek lightly, pulling across the last of the distance between them to kiss him ever so softly, so softly that Squall's eyes just flutter closed and he barely returns the pressure.

After a moment, Seifer kisses him again. And again, and then pulls back, laughing to see the embarrassed and worried look on Squall's face -- correctly guessing that he's worrying about being a bad kisser. "You worry too much."

"Maybe, but..."

"But?"

He shrugs. "That was my first kiss, unless you're counting the ones when I was six."

"Ah, sweet sixteen and never been kissed. Why am I not surprised?"

"Untrue, if you're counting the ones when I was a kid. Although..." Squall looks at Seifer carefully -- wondering if he remembers, not sure whether he hopes he does or wishes he didn't. "Only ever been kissed by one person."

"Do explain yourself, because I haven't got a clue what you're on about."

"I'm surprised you don't remember."

Seifer rolls his eyes. "Are you going to tell me or should I finally go for my swim?"

"Before Sis left, and I started ignoring you, you and me had a hiding place down there," he says, quietly, turning to point out what once was their favourite hiding place, their clubhouse, their home. He smiles with the memories -- memories of a time before Ellone left, memories of a time when he didn't feel the need to protect himself. "We were about six, you kissed me."

"Having a hiding place, I remember, having you there, I don't." Seifer frowns, staring at Squall for a moment, trying to conjure up a mental image. "And I remember you ditching me, you have no idea how pissed I was."

"I never went there once Sis left, so... I guess it's okay that you forgot me." His voice lowers -- suddenly more shy than ever, careful around a painful topic. "I figured that since you were going to leave anyway, I might as well start getting over it then."

"Thought you'd be rid of me that easy, hm?"

"I don't know what I thought."

"Probably nothing at all," he says with a smirk. Then he looks up at the sky and huffs softly. "I'm gonna swim a bit now."

Squall stands up carefully, brushing sand away, not sure if he's feeling hurt that Seifer forgot him and the silly, clumsy kisses they'd shared so long ago. "I'm going to go and get my pencil and paper, drawing in sand sucks."

He turns to go. Seifer watches him until he disappears into the Orphanage, and then shrugs away his thoughts, heading down to the water.

Comments

[edenbound.livejournal.com]

I'd totally convert this 'verse as a whole if I could, but my records of it are so bitty. xD I might see if I can get Lisa to play this 'verse from the beginning, 'cause I do love these boys to death.

In case you're curious, I played Squall and she played Seifer. :)

As to the self-expression vs. bottling it up, Squall draws a lot, especially his most precious memories, but refuses to show anyone (except later Seifer) his art. In a way, his form of bottling it up is very much just shoving it all into the sketch book and closing it. With some coaxing from Seifer, he later opens up more and ends up going to art college, but for now none of them realise that he's actually fairly good. xD

[lassarina]

Ahhh, okay. Makes more sense that way, yes :)