FFVIII: Spellbound (5)

[edenbound]

Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Squall/Rinoa, Seifer/Squall
Warnings: Squall POV, angst
Chapter: Five, final
Rating: PG13
Summary: Seifer needs Squall and Rinoa's help. For multi-chapter fics, warnings and pairings are chapter specific.


Rinoa was far too enthusiastic about my 'date' for her own good, but I knew that it wasn't some weird set up. She was nervous. And she really, really didn't want to go messing with that spell, especially if it really was a punishment for him created by Ultimecia, but, as she said, for world peace, might be better if we tried to help Seifer out.

“Why aren't you wearing your leather pants?” she asked, teasingly, when I ventured out of my room wearing denim.

“More casual?” I offered, and sighed as she shook her head and pushed me back into my room.

“Don't make too much effort. Just wear your usual things. He likes those.”

“I wonder why,” I muttered, looking at the leather and all the belts. But I did as Rinoa said and tried not to think about all Seifer's old innuendos, back when they had meant nothing but him trying to get under my skin. Rinoa practically pushed me out of the door, two minutes early, kissing me goodbye and giving me an impish little smile.

I was nervous. I admit it. Not because it was a date, but because it was Seifer, and because this was uncharted territory between us. One minute we'd been fighting, the next I'd been a Commander trying to help someone in his Garden and now we were, well... dating – or not dating, but pretending to. And that was the weirdest thought I'd ever had about Seifer, including the one where he actually listened to me.

I wondered how I could ever survive a date with him. Make small talk. I resolved to make him pay for everything, anyway.

It was easier than I thought. Dinner and a movie. I'd done that with Rinoa a few times. A movie first, and then discussion of it, how dumb some of it had been. It was almost like just being with a friend, and I relaxed a little.

But dinner. Dinner was different.

It wasn't a particularly expensive place, but still, it was too... intimate, for my liking. Our knees bumped under our table and Seifer seemed almost deliberately to be touching me. He grinned at me. “Thanks, by the way, Le... Squall.”

I shrugged it off. “For what? I haven't done anything.”

“You agreed to come on this date thing,” he said, with a roll of his eyes. “It does mean something to me, you know. Not just because I have these stupid feelings for you. Or well, because of them, but not because I... love you. Because you're helping me. You have no idea how hard it is to watch you and Rinoa and think that I shouldn't feel jealous for any reason, and yet I do. I shouldn't want to hit every girl or guy that talks to you, but sometimes I do, because you seem more interested in them than me.”

My mouth went dry. He was looking at me with that intense look again, and I wanted to squirm in my seat. Or just run out of there.

“I'm sorry,” he said, quietly, and looked out of the window to spare me a little. “I know it makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“It's okay,” I said, because there wasn't anything else polite to say.

“Thank you,” he said, softly, and there was almost a look of pain on his face. I didn't like that. It was, after all, supposed to be a romantic date. That was what Rinoa wanted, what she needed to find the spell. I bumped my knee against Seifer's under the table and found him a small smile.

“Cheer up. We're going to help you.” I took a quiet deep breath, and realised I'd probably regret saying this, “You should make the most of the time you have got me for.”

He laughed at that and gave me another kind of intense look that made my stomach twist a bit. “Oh, then I will.”

Dinner was a mess. I almost didn't want to eat and he seemed more prone to watching me than getting on with his dinner. He made jokes and innuendos, I ignored him as much as I could.

We finished eating and headed outside. Rinoa had suggested a walk. I tried not to mind when Seifer reached for my hand, pulling me along to somewhere – clearly wanting to get somewhere, just from the purposefulness to his stride. I was glad that he didn't tangle his fingers with mine as Rinoa always did.

A moment later, I found myself pressed against a wall, looking up into his face.

He had the tenderest look in his eyes. I reminded myself that it was just a spell, just a stupid little spell, and I kept my gaze cool. Still, he was looking at me in that way, that way he'd had only since the spell had been cast. The spell that made me feel naked, that made me feel as if he was looking through, into, me.

He bent down and kissed me, pushing me against the wall, his hands resting on my hips and his body moving close to mine, pressing me gently back. My heart was pounding and I know he could feel it. His was the same.

He kissed me softly, closing his eyes and making a soft sound like he couldn't believe he was doing it, and how good it was. How good it was. Because it was good, even though I didn't want it to be, even though the thought of being with Seifer like I was with Rinoa was alien, completely wrong. I wanted to push him away and run to find Rinoa, to talk through my feelings with her. I wanted to say to hell with both of them and get far, far away from these stupid, stupid, confusing things. And a tiny, tiny part of me, and the part that actually won, wanted to stay there and be kissed.

I heard steps running towards us and quick breathing, and I wanted Seifer to pull away, but he didn't, not yet.

“There's a problem, you guys,” Rinoa said, and Seifer pulled away from me slowly, reluctantly, moistening his lips and keeping our eyes locked. His eyes were quizzical, questioning, as if he'd felt my response to the kiss, my discomfort and my decision to stay. I jerked quickly away from him and fixed my eyes on Rinoa's. I could still feel the pressure of his body against mine, the heat. The pressure of his lips. I could feel the remaining warmth of his hands, now cold, in hand shaped prints on my hips. I wanted it to go away. I wanted my heart to stop thudding like that.

We went back to Garden to talk about the problem. Sat in my office, it was better. I became cool, impersonal again. I was the Commander, the one in charge, and I liked that persona. I could play that persona well. The illusion of having control over the situation made every hyperalert system in my body finally calm down.

“So, Rinoa,” I said, and gave her a smile that was just for her, not for Seifer, and clearly so. I wanted him to forget that I had ever kissed back when he kissed me, because I did it purely to help him, and to try and make him want to make sure that kiss never happens again – not out of any attraction I might have for him. Because I don't. Have any attraction, that is.

She smiled back a little, and smiled at Seifer, too, twisting her hands a little in her lap as she answered. “Well... There is no spell.”

What?!

“What?!” Seifer and I asked, almost simultaneously. I realised that he hadn't known there was no spell, either, and I couldn't understand it at all.

“There was a spell cast, but...” she sighed and sat up a little straighter. It was funny, I remember that Quistis always sat up like that when she wanted to explain something to us in class. It was like a reflex of women – or teachers, I'm not sure which. “The spell cast was a one time spell. You cast it, it sticks. Magic isn't needed to continue the spell. In fact, if that had been the case, the spell would have ended with Ultimecia's death.”

“Shit,” Seifer said, softly.

“So I'm afraid there's not much I can do.”

I let them talk for a minute about what they could do. But I wasn't listening. This meant... that Seifer really was in love with me. Triggered by a spell, yes, but now for real, in love with me and wanting me. I didn't know how I could deal with that, forever. His distraction during our duels. His eyes on me whenever we passed.

I was almost tempted to kick him out of Garden.

But for the time being, I just kicked both of them out of my office.

I heard Rinoa talking to him, just outside my office. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help but listen.

“That spell would never have worked at all if you hadn't had some attraction to Squall originally,” Rinoa said, and I wondered what Seifer looked like at that moment – whether, for once, he couldn't hold his head up straight. She was accusing him of being gay, and he had so hated that idea, and teased so many people for acting 'gay'.

I heard him mumble something in response, but not what he said.

Rinoa laughed softly. I imagined her patting him on the shoulder or something. “It's okay. There's nothing I can really do, and I'm sorry. Maybe you should leave Garden, and try to get over it?”

There was a laugh, and I realised that maybe he wasn't quite as disappointed about all this as he seemed. “Oh no, Rin, on the contrary. I'm staying. Squall liked that kiss I gave him. I'm hanging around to see what comes of that, doll.”

I could almost see Rinoa with her hands on her hips, dark eyebrow raised, laughing but serious, too. “Oh yeah? You forget, he has a girlfriend.”

I could almost see Seifer's lecherous grin and wink.

“Who says I'm not after you, too?”

I rested my head against my desk with a soft groan, and longed for the days when I didn't want anyone.