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Entry tags:
FFVIII: Hunter
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Squall/Rinoa
Warnings: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Squall is smothering Rinoa. Title from Dido's song.
If you were a king
Up there on your throne
Would you be wise enough to let me go
For this queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go
-Dido; Hunter
I close the door quietly behind me, slipping my shoes off and walking up the stairs barefoot. I know it's pointless. I've never been able to stay quiet enough not to wake Squall, and more often than not, he's already sat there, awake and waiting to scold me for staying out so late and worrying him. Sometimes he just sits there, in the dark. It always creeps me out when he does that.
I hate it.
Not just walking in to find him sat up and staring into the dark. Not just the scolding. Just the way he watches over me. Constantly. As if I can't take a step without his guidance. I know a Knight is supposed to be a guide and guardian. And as my husband he promised to care for me. But this is too much.
"Where have you been?"
"Just out."
He gets up. I sigh as I take my jacket off, draping it over the chair, and turn to face him. He cups my cheek gently. "I was worried. I thought..."
"You always do. Don't worry so much."
"If you don't want me to worry, you shouldn't give me such cause to worry."
"Squall..."
"Let's go to bed."
So we do. He strips quickly and efficiently and slips into bed and I follow his example. He puts an arm over my waist and I lay in the dark, looking up at the ceiling. His touch doesn't comfort or quiet me anymore. I don't have nightmares anymore, not since we got close, don't have dreams that threaten to send me mad. For that, he's a good Knight. But instead my dreams are restless and sleep isn't peace.
And Squall doesn't understand. He doesn't understand at all that I need to be out there. Alive. Making people love me instead of fear me. I need to be with people, laughing and talking like an ordinary woman. His love and protection smothers me, takes all the fun out of even my small outings every few nights.
I need to see the world, all of it, I need to fight without him stealing every hit from me, 'for my own good'. I want to just go outside of town and train until my muscles ache and my hands are sore from holding my weapon.
I want to leave him.
In the morning he will beg me not to go out like that and worry him again. And I will just smile.
Pairing: Squall/Rinoa
Warnings: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Squall is smothering Rinoa. Title from Dido's song.
Up there on your throne
Would you be wise enough to let me go
For this queen you think you own
Wants to be a hunter again
I want to see the world alone again
To take a chance on life again
So let me go
-Dido; Hunter
I close the door quietly behind me, slipping my shoes off and walking up the stairs barefoot. I know it's pointless. I've never been able to stay quiet enough not to wake Squall, and more often than not, he's already sat there, awake and waiting to scold me for staying out so late and worrying him. Sometimes he just sits there, in the dark. It always creeps me out when he does that.
I hate it.
Not just walking in to find him sat up and staring into the dark. Not just the scolding. Just the way he watches over me. Constantly. As if I can't take a step without his guidance. I know a Knight is supposed to be a guide and guardian. And as my husband he promised to care for me. But this is too much.
"Where have you been?"
"Just out."
He gets up. I sigh as I take my jacket off, draping it over the chair, and turn to face him. He cups my cheek gently. "I was worried. I thought..."
"You always do. Don't worry so much."
"If you don't want me to worry, you shouldn't give me such cause to worry."
"Squall..."
"Let's go to bed."
So we do. He strips quickly and efficiently and slips into bed and I follow his example. He puts an arm over my waist and I lay in the dark, looking up at the ceiling. His touch doesn't comfort or quiet me anymore. I don't have nightmares anymore, not since we got close, don't have dreams that threaten to send me mad. For that, he's a good Knight. But instead my dreams are restless and sleep isn't peace.
And Squall doesn't understand. He doesn't understand at all that I need to be out there. Alive. Making people love me instead of fear me. I need to be with people, laughing and talking like an ordinary woman. His love and protection smothers me, takes all the fun out of even my small outings every few nights.
I need to see the world, all of it, I need to fight without him stealing every hit from me, 'for my own good'. I want to just go outside of town and train until my muscles ache and my hands are sore from holding my weapon.
I want to leave him.
In the morning he will beg me not to go out like that and worry him again. And I will just smile.
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