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Entry tags:
TFT: Enough
Fandom: The Fionavar Tapestry
Pairing: Kevin/Paul
Warnings: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Sometimes there's nothing you can do. For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
feywood on my first kisses meme.
Paul was staring into space. Kevin didn't bother to ask anything as obvious as "are you alright?". He slid into the seat next to him, close enough that they touched: shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee. "Hey," he said, quietly.
"...Hey," Paul said, after a moment. He turned to look at Kevin. "You're late."
"Abba needed my help with something." Kevin wanted to say something, something that might slice the silence, the indifference away. But there seemed like nothing he could say. Except -- "I've missed you," he said, looking down into the drink that Paul had bought for him already, before he arrived. "You've been so distant, since -- since she died. Like there's nothing here worth your time."
"That's -- "
"More or less true," Kevin said, without any bitterness. Slowly, he raised a hand, turning a little. Their shoulders no longer touched, their knees were jammed together uncomfortably. Nobody was looking at them; there was no reason for anyone to look at them. Kevin's hand settled on Paul's shoulder: a light pressure. "But there is something, Paul. There's -- there's me, isn't there?"
Paul looked into his eyes. He felt like he was open, naked, like Paul could read everything he'd ever thought or felt.
He didn't care.
"Yes," Paul said, finally, heavilly. "There's you. But, Kevin -- "
Kevin reached up with his other hand, touched Paul's lips, and Paul stopped speaking. "Let me be enough. Just for now."
He knew he couldn't be enough. For now, or ultimately. That there was some aching, festering guilt somewhere inside Paul -- that the car crash had killed him, in its way, as surely as it had Rachel. That there was something Paul couldn't voice to him, no matter what.
He kissed him anyway.
Pairing: Kevin/Paul
Warnings: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Sometimes there's nothing you can do. For
feywood on my first kisses meme.Paul was staring into space. Kevin didn't bother to ask anything as obvious as "are you alright?". He slid into the seat next to him, close enough that they touched: shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee. "Hey," he said, quietly.
"...Hey," Paul said, after a moment. He turned to look at Kevin. "You're late."
"Abba needed my help with something." Kevin wanted to say something, something that might slice the silence, the indifference away. But there seemed like nothing he could say. Except -- "I've missed you," he said, looking down into the drink that Paul had bought for him already, before he arrived. "You've been so distant, since -- since she died. Like there's nothing here worth your time."
"That's -- "
"More or less true," Kevin said, without any bitterness. Slowly, he raised a hand, turning a little. Their shoulders no longer touched, their knees were jammed together uncomfortably. Nobody was looking at them; there was no reason for anyone to look at them. Kevin's hand settled on Paul's shoulder: a light pressure. "But there is something, Paul. There's -- there's me, isn't there?"
Paul looked into his eyes. He felt like he was open, naked, like Paul could read everything he'd ever thought or felt.
He didn't care.
"Yes," Paul said, finally, heavilly. "There's you. But, Kevin -- "
Kevin reached up with his other hand, touched Paul's lips, and Paul stopped speaking. "Let me be enough. Just for now."
He knew he couldn't be enough. For now, or ultimately. That there was some aching, festering guilt somewhere inside Paul -- that the car crash had killed him, in its way, as surely as it had Rachel. That there was something Paul couldn't voice to him, no matter what.
He kissed him anyway.