![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
FFVIII: Arcana
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Seifer/Squall
Warnings: Zell POV, angst
Rating: PG
Summary: It hurt to watch them. To read other parts of the story, find the timeline here.
They didn't know. They couldn't know, really. But they were hurting me. I didn't show it, of course not -- Squall needed stability and support and all that shit. He didn't need to know that I wanted him and his lover. He didn't need to know that I dreamed of being with them at night and daydreamed about them during the day. Seifer didn't notice that my flirting was sincere, Squall didn't notice my flirting.
And that was fine with me, then. I was ready to keep my secret, because I needed to. So that part of my life, those dreams, would be kept closed in on themselves and locked away -- so what? It was for the best.
But no one will ever have any idea of how hard that resolution made life for me. How much I always longed to kiss Seifer or run my fingers through Seifer's hair. And it hurt when they kissed -- or rather, when Seifer grabbed Squall and forced a kiss on him that he eventually responded to.
It hurt that Squall would respond.
It hurt like hell.
Pairing: Seifer/Squall
Warnings: Zell POV, angst
Rating: PG
Summary: It hurt to watch them. To read other parts of the story, find the timeline here.
They didn't know. They couldn't know, really. But they were hurting me. I didn't show it, of course not -- Squall needed stability and support and all that shit. He didn't need to know that I wanted him and his lover. He didn't need to know that I dreamed of being with them at night and daydreamed about them during the day. Seifer didn't notice that my flirting was sincere, Squall didn't notice my flirting.
And that was fine with me, then. I was ready to keep my secret, because I needed to. So that part of my life, those dreams, would be kept closed in on themselves and locked away -- so what? It was for the best.
But no one will ever have any idea of how hard that resolution made life for me. How much I always longed to kiss Seifer or run my fingers through Seifer's hair. And it hurt when they kissed -- or rather, when Seifer grabbed Squall and forced a kiss on him that he eventually responded to.
It hurt that Squall would respond.
It hurt like hell.