Entry tags:
FFVIII: Fatalistic
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Irvine/Squall
Warnings: Irvine POV, angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Irvine isn't a good SeeD. For
100_chances.
When you're a SeeD, you live with the fear that tomorrow your lover will be gone, that your friends will fall around you, that you'll fall. You have to be ready for it, but you can't think about it too much, in case it doesn't happen. And the minute you give up you're lost.
See, I think that's why I'm not a good SeeD. Oh, I passed my exam and worked my way back, and now I'm one of the elite, class-A-SeeD-specialisation-sharpshooter, one of the Team, the big team with Squall Leonhart as our leader and every fucking specialisation accounted for. But I can't just detach myself from it -- can't look at Squall and not think that I'd die if I lost him, can't look at Selphie without wondering how I could smile without her around. A good SeeD is never a good lover, and vice versa.
I can't stop thinking about it. Losing him. Losing her. Losing them.
He doesn't even know how I feel about him. Sometimes I wonder if I should tell him, just in case we never meet in this world again, but the rest of the time I know that this kind of thinking will get me lost.
Pairing: Irvine/Squall
Warnings: Irvine POV, angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Irvine isn't a good SeeD. For
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When you're a SeeD, you live with the fear that tomorrow your lover will be gone, that your friends will fall around you, that you'll fall. You have to be ready for it, but you can't think about it too much, in case it doesn't happen. And the minute you give up you're lost.
See, I think that's why I'm not a good SeeD. Oh, I passed my exam and worked my way back, and now I'm one of the elite, class-A-SeeD-specialisation-sharpshooter, one of the Team, the big team with Squall Leonhart as our leader and every fucking specialisation accounted for. But I can't just detach myself from it -- can't look at Squall and not think that I'd die if I lost him, can't look at Selphie without wondering how I could smile without her around. A good SeeD is never a good lover, and vice versa.
I can't stop thinking about it. Losing him. Losing her. Losing them.
He doesn't even know how I feel about him. Sometimes I wonder if I should tell him, just in case we never meet in this world again, but the rest of the time I know that this kind of thinking will get me lost.