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FFVIII: Held Back
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Seifer/Edea, Ultimecia/Seifer
Warnings: Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: The world isn't the world. For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sugartits, for Christmas.
The world isn't the world, right now. The darkness swirls around him and Seifer doesn't flinch. It isn't real, he thinks. This is just a passageway, a transition. Nothing can harm him here -- not with her walking before him, her laughter still ringing in his ears, her words digging into him. He's not afraid. He clears his throat, filled with the strange feeling that if he speaks, his words will be lost. He ignores it. "Matron? I've grown up since you last saw me, you know. Matron!"
She turns to him, swinging round. The darkness swirls around her. He can't remember her being this beautiful, this strange. She smiles at him, then, moving closer to him instead of walking onwards. He swallows back his hatred of the place and looks up at her.
"Matron?"
"No," she says, the old kind sweet note in her voice changed, somewhat, yes, but still so familiar. He'd swear --
"Who, then?"
"Something a little different. A little more," she pauses, and then her voice caresses the last word, "powerful." She eyes him carefully, top to bottom and back again, and he straightens up under her gaze as he never did for Quistis' inspections. "I want you to be my knight."
He takes a breath. He feels as if he's breathing it in, thick, heavy darkness, sliding down into his lungs, corrupting him, her voice in his ears more powerful every moment and the throb of his heart like a drumroll, his mouth dry, her whispers --
"No," he says, because this isn't right.
Her smile is the same, still. She reaches up to touch his face, caressing lightly, and he takes another deep breath. He feels stronger, now, but at the same time he knows he's not strong enough to fight this. "Seifer," she says, softly, "be my knight."
"I want to go home!"
"You said that at the Orphanage, too, but you came to love me," she says, her fingers stroking the side of his face. Her fingers are cool, now, but he can't remember them being any different all of a sudden. He closes his eyes to listen better to her voice, breathing in deep to let the thick heavy contented feeling take him over. "You were scared then... you're scared now, but you hide it better. Don't let your fear hold you back this time."
He keeps his eyes closed. She laughs, quietly, and then she kisses him. He wants to reach up -- to push her away or pull her closer, he doesn't know, he can't... -- and then she pulls away before he can move, and his lips tingle a little with the loss of pressure and the darkness that sweeps up inside.
"Be my knight," she says again.
"Yes," he says, more breath than voice, the expression on his face for a moment childlike wonder, and then his usual ready smirk that he wears when he should be confident, but deep inside is scared. She turns from him and walks and he follows, confident now, and forgetting the dark that seeps into him all around.
Obey her, a voice inside him says, and he smiles.
Pairing: Seifer/Edea, Ultimecia/Seifer
Warnings: Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: The world isn't the world. For
sugartits, for Christmas.The world isn't the world, right now. The darkness swirls around him and Seifer doesn't flinch. It isn't real, he thinks. This is just a passageway, a transition. Nothing can harm him here -- not with her walking before him, her laughter still ringing in his ears, her words digging into him. He's not afraid. He clears his throat, filled with the strange feeling that if he speaks, his words will be lost. He ignores it. "Matron? I've grown up since you last saw me, you know. Matron!"
She turns to him, swinging round. The darkness swirls around her. He can't remember her being this beautiful, this strange. She smiles at him, then, moving closer to him instead of walking onwards. He swallows back his hatred of the place and looks up at her.
"Matron?"
"No," she says, the old kind sweet note in her voice changed, somewhat, yes, but still so familiar. He'd swear --
"Who, then?"
"Something a little different. A little more," she pauses, and then her voice caresses the last word, "powerful." She eyes him carefully, top to bottom and back again, and he straightens up under her gaze as he never did for Quistis' inspections. "I want you to be my knight."
He takes a breath. He feels as if he's breathing it in, thick, heavy darkness, sliding down into his lungs, corrupting him, her voice in his ears more powerful every moment and the throb of his heart like a drumroll, his mouth dry, her whispers --
"No," he says, because this isn't right.
Her smile is the same, still. She reaches up to touch his face, caressing lightly, and he takes another deep breath. He feels stronger, now, but at the same time he knows he's not strong enough to fight this. "Seifer," she says, softly, "be my knight."
"I want to go home!"
"You said that at the Orphanage, too, but you came to love me," she says, her fingers stroking the side of his face. Her fingers are cool, now, but he can't remember them being any different all of a sudden. He closes his eyes to listen better to her voice, breathing in deep to let the thick heavy contented feeling take him over. "You were scared then... you're scared now, but you hide it better. Don't let your fear hold you back this time."
He keeps his eyes closed. She laughs, quietly, and then she kisses him. He wants to reach up -- to push her away or pull her closer, he doesn't know, he can't... -- and then she pulls away before he can move, and his lips tingle a little with the loss of pressure and the darkness that sweeps up inside.
"Be my knight," she says again.
"Yes," he says, more breath than voice, the expression on his face for a moment childlike wonder, and then his usual ready smirk that he wears when he should be confident, but deep inside is scared. She turns from him and walks and he follows, confident now, and forgetting the dark that seeps into him all around.
Obey her, a voice inside him says, and he smiles.