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Entry tags:
FFVIII: Middle
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Squall/Nida
Warnings: None
Rating: G
Summary: Underestimated and overestimated meet in the middle. For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
over_look.
Squall barely even noticed him before. Nida keeps his eyes on where they're going, but inwardly all his senses are on Squall -- the faint sound of his breathing, the faint heat of him standing so close, the feel of his eyes watching carefully. Nida makes extra sure to look professional -- trying to make Squall notice him, or maybe just to make Squall feel proud of him.
Why, exactly, he so much wants to please the man who ignored him so much, he isn't sure, but it's not it matters. He takes a deep breath, turning the Garden slightly, supposedly correcting the course. "Is there a problem, Commander?"
He hears Squall's small intake of breath at the hated title, and bites his lip. He hears Squall shift, the small creak of leather and the sound of his boot against the metal. "No. Anything to report?"
"Nothing, sir."
"That's... that's good, then. Thank you."
Squall turns to go and Nida bites his lip harder, keeping his eyes on the horizon. He'd like to tell Squall that next time, he'll stay quiet, and let Squall think his own thoughts. That's probably what he's there for. He's had plenty of practice, after all, in not being noticed -- it normally happens all of it's own accord.
But inviting Squall to come up here alone would probably defeat the purpose.
----
Squall's eyes wander, this time -- out to the horizon and down to the sparkling sea, and to the play of Garden's shadow over everything below. Nida stays as still as he can, now, to keep Squall standing there. Not a sound, he cautions himself, and doesn't move, even though he's longing to step away from the controls and stretch.
"What is Cid expecting of me?"
Nida stiffens at Squall's voice, but he doesn't dare to answer. And, he realises, the question isn't for him, but for the world below, for the air, maybe just for Squall to hear himself say it. He relaxes a little, tries to be Garden, silent and purposeful, ever present but not a bothersome thing.
"I wish... I wish they wouldn't take so much notice of me. I didn't... I didn't really do anything. Just what I had to do."
Nida clears his throat, wanting to tell Squall why being ignored is worse, but then he holds his tongue. Squall doesn't need to hear that. He needs to let Squall be alone in company, like this, the way he wants it.
----
"It's been a while since I saw you up here, Commander," Nida blurts, when Squall comes up in the lift to stand beside him. He didn't mean to say it -- didn't mean to make himself noticed -- but Squall doesn't turn around and go. A glance at him shows that his arm is still in a sling -- a nasty break, they said, though few would speak about the Commander's failure on a mission.
"Yes," he says, simply.
"I liked it when you'd come up here," Nida says, in a sudden burst of courage, "when you'd stand watching Garden. Made me feel... like I was doing a good job."
Squall's tone was just slightly distracted, but -- but he was talking. "Good. You are, Nida."
"You never used to be able to remember my name."
Squall's eyes shift to him, blue-grey like the far off horizon, and he feels the oddest urge to squirm at that rather discerning gaze. Time was that Squall's eyes would look through him, not right at him like that. "I'm sorry. I wish people would forget my name, sometimes."
"I don't see why."
A little too blunt, he realises, but Squall doesn't take offence.
"Because they always talk about me."
"Better than being ignored," Nida mutters, but at the look on Squall's face, he isn't sure all of a sudden.
----
"I'm going on a mission, tomorrow," Squall says, the minute the lift stops, and Nida turns from the controls of Garden to look at him. Squall hasn't been on a mission since the one they don't talk about, and he's only just gained back the strength in his arm to wield his heavy gunblade, and -- and, to tell the truth, Nida is afraid for him.
"A hard one?"
"An average one. Alone." Squall gives him a curious look and then smiles -- a real smile, not the one that curls his mouth when people demand that he smiles. A real smile, even if it is only a shadow of what it could be. "You're the only person in Garden who thinks I can't do it."
"I don't -- "
"Don't lie."
Nida huffs softly, running his hand through his hair. "I know you can do it, usually. But... taking your arm into consideration..."
He is, he realises, the only one in Garden who will cut the Commander some slack. Maybe it's because he's been a witness to Squall's restless need for loneliness, maybe it's because he's heard Squall doubt himself. Maybe it's because now he's learned the value of being underestimated.
"Be careful," he says, when Squall turns to go.
Squall's smile comes again, brief and somehow heart warming. "I will. For you."
----
Kissing Squall is something that takes all his limited courage, even though Squall is careful for him every time and he's grown used to the privilege of being the only one who doubts his Commander -- a strange privilege, but apparently a necessary one, because Squall likes him a lot more than he'd expect, that considered.
Squall's heart beats fast under his hand when he rests it against his chest, and he feels as if he knows Squall already as intimately as he knows the controls of Garden. Squall's kiss is as hesitant as his, and that more than anything confirms that being underestimated and being overestimated are, at the core, the same thing.
He puts the Garden on auto-pilot and follows Squall into the lift and down, into Garden, where people look at him, but they don't matter now, they never really mattered, because what mattered was overestimated and underestimated meeting in the middle.
He still worries, when Squall goes out on a mission. And Squall always expects too much from him -- so much more than anyone else expects from him, whether it be in his skills as a SeeD or a cook or as the pilot of Garden -- and, somehow, that balances.
Pairing: Squall/Nida
Warnings: None
Rating: G
Summary: Underestimated and overestimated meet in the middle. For
over_look.Squall barely even noticed him before. Nida keeps his eyes on where they're going, but inwardly all his senses are on Squall -- the faint sound of his breathing, the faint heat of him standing so close, the feel of his eyes watching carefully. Nida makes extra sure to look professional -- trying to make Squall notice him, or maybe just to make Squall feel proud of him.
Why, exactly, he so much wants to please the man who ignored him so much, he isn't sure, but it's not it matters. He takes a deep breath, turning the Garden slightly, supposedly correcting the course. "Is there a problem, Commander?"
He hears Squall's small intake of breath at the hated title, and bites his lip. He hears Squall shift, the small creak of leather and the sound of his boot against the metal. "No. Anything to report?"
"Nothing, sir."
"That's... that's good, then. Thank you."
Squall turns to go and Nida bites his lip harder, keeping his eyes on the horizon. He'd like to tell Squall that next time, he'll stay quiet, and let Squall think his own thoughts. That's probably what he's there for. He's had plenty of practice, after all, in not being noticed -- it normally happens all of it's own accord.
But inviting Squall to come up here alone would probably defeat the purpose.
Squall's eyes wander, this time -- out to the horizon and down to the sparkling sea, and to the play of Garden's shadow over everything below. Nida stays as still as he can, now, to keep Squall standing there. Not a sound, he cautions himself, and doesn't move, even though he's longing to step away from the controls and stretch.
"What is Cid expecting of me?"
Nida stiffens at Squall's voice, but he doesn't dare to answer. And, he realises, the question isn't for him, but for the world below, for the air, maybe just for Squall to hear himself say it. He relaxes a little, tries to be Garden, silent and purposeful, ever present but not a bothersome thing.
"I wish... I wish they wouldn't take so much notice of me. I didn't... I didn't really do anything. Just what I had to do."
Nida clears his throat, wanting to tell Squall why being ignored is worse, but then he holds his tongue. Squall doesn't need to hear that. He needs to let Squall be alone in company, like this, the way he wants it.
"It's been a while since I saw you up here, Commander," Nida blurts, when Squall comes up in the lift to stand beside him. He didn't mean to say it -- didn't mean to make himself noticed -- but Squall doesn't turn around and go. A glance at him shows that his arm is still in a sling -- a nasty break, they said, though few would speak about the Commander's failure on a mission.
"Yes," he says, simply.
"I liked it when you'd come up here," Nida says, in a sudden burst of courage, "when you'd stand watching Garden. Made me feel... like I was doing a good job."
Squall's tone was just slightly distracted, but -- but he was talking. "Good. You are, Nida."
"You never used to be able to remember my name."
Squall's eyes shift to him, blue-grey like the far off horizon, and he feels the oddest urge to squirm at that rather discerning gaze. Time was that Squall's eyes would look through him, not right at him like that. "I'm sorry. I wish people would forget my name, sometimes."
"I don't see why."
A little too blunt, he realises, but Squall doesn't take offence.
"Because they always talk about me."
"Better than being ignored," Nida mutters, but at the look on Squall's face, he isn't sure all of a sudden.
"I'm going on a mission, tomorrow," Squall says, the minute the lift stops, and Nida turns from the controls of Garden to look at him. Squall hasn't been on a mission since the one they don't talk about, and he's only just gained back the strength in his arm to wield his heavy gunblade, and -- and, to tell the truth, Nida is afraid for him.
"A hard one?"
"An average one. Alone." Squall gives him a curious look and then smiles -- a real smile, not the one that curls his mouth when people demand that he smiles. A real smile, even if it is only a shadow of what it could be. "You're the only person in Garden who thinks I can't do it."
"I don't -- "
"Don't lie."
Nida huffs softly, running his hand through his hair. "I know you can do it, usually. But... taking your arm into consideration..."
He is, he realises, the only one in Garden who will cut the Commander some slack. Maybe it's because he's been a witness to Squall's restless need for loneliness, maybe it's because he's heard Squall doubt himself. Maybe it's because now he's learned the value of being underestimated.
"Be careful," he says, when Squall turns to go.
Squall's smile comes again, brief and somehow heart warming. "I will. For you."
Kissing Squall is something that takes all his limited courage, even though Squall is careful for him every time and he's grown used to the privilege of being the only one who doubts his Commander -- a strange privilege, but apparently a necessary one, because Squall likes him a lot more than he'd expect, that considered.
Squall's heart beats fast under his hand when he rests it against his chest, and he feels as if he knows Squall already as intimately as he knows the controls of Garden. Squall's kiss is as hesitant as his, and that more than anything confirms that being underestimated and being overestimated are, at the core, the same thing.
He puts the Garden on auto-pilot and follows Squall into the lift and down, into Garden, where people look at him, but they don't matter now, they never really mattered, because what mattered was overestimated and underestimated meeting in the middle.
He still worries, when Squall goes out on a mission. And Squall always expects too much from him -- so much more than anyone else expects from him, whether it be in his skills as a SeeD or a cook or as the pilot of Garden -- and, somehow, that balances.