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F: Albatross
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing: Mal/River, Mal/Simon
Warnings: Angst, sap
Rating: PG
Summary: River gets all self-sacrificin'. Timeline here.
Notes: "An albatross is a central emblem in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge... It is from [The Rime of the Ancient Mariner] that the usage of albatross as a metaphor is derived; someone with a burden or obstacle is said to have 'an albatross around their neck', the punishment given in the poem to the mariner who killed the albatross."
"We'll hurt him, you know."
River peeks her head in through the door and watches Mal watchin' Simon. She's barefoot again, makin' no noise as she walks across the room, as carefully as if stalkin' a deer. She sits down on the floor, near but not touchin', and looks up at Mal, brushing her hair back out of her face.
"You don't know that for sure."
"If he finds out. We'll hurt him. We should..."
That ain't what he wants to hear. What he wants to hear is some way round what he's been thinkin', some way to do the decent thing without losin' either of them that have wormed their way into his heart and didn't disturb the alarm bells soon enough. He looks down at Simon, brushing his rough fingers over his smooth cheek, and shakes his head at River. "I don't want to hurt him."
"But you will."
"So what are you suggestin', little one?"
She gathers herself up, hugging her knees and letting her hair go, letting it tumble into her face. Her expression is serious and thoughtful, edged around with premature hurt, and Mal reaches for her.
"River -- "
"Sshh," she warns, pullin' away from his hand. "We should stop. Stop... doing what we do. For Simon's sake."
The hurt on her face is, he realises, entirely his fault, and all because he wanted to play with a little fire. His mother might once 've told him not to play with fire, that someone would always get hurt -- but if she had, he'd never thought to listen. Now he's gettin' a short sharp lesson in it, and, he smiles inwardly, wryly, it'll probably do him good if it don't kill him.
"River, I... Look, I don't want to lose you, 'kay? Or him. And... I don't want to hurt either one o' you."
"You'll hurt him if we don't -- "
"I'll hurt you, if we do."
She bites her lip, hard, colour bleaching away, and he reaches for her again, slipping down from Simon's bed to the floor to wrap an arm around her and straightenin' out his legs, forcin' her to come close. It always feels good to hold them -- both o' them fit into his arms so well -- so he holds her, smaller and more fragile than her brother in seemin', but, he thinks, probably stronger than him and her brother combined when it comes to spirit.
Not so strong she ain't hurtin', though.
"Sailor used to get bad luck if he killed an albatross," he says, softly, "an' I don't want an albatross 'round my neck."
She clings to him, and nods, hidin' her face in his shoulder. For once, he picked someone right for him, two people right for him, but he's such a darned idiot that mayhap he'll lose both, and that's not fair, but it's livin'. He strokes her hair carefully and lets her fall asleep there, and puts her on the bed next to Simon before he goes.
Turns to glance at 'em once more before he goes off to do captainy things, and smiles with the happy pain of it.
Pairing: Mal/River, Mal/Simon
Warnings: Angst, sap
Rating: PG
Summary: River gets all self-sacrificin'. Timeline here.
Notes: "An albatross is a central emblem in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge... It is from [The Rime of the Ancient Mariner] that the usage of albatross as a metaphor is derived; someone with a burden or obstacle is said to have 'an albatross around their neck', the punishment given in the poem to the mariner who killed the albatross."
"We'll hurt him, you know."
River peeks her head in through the door and watches Mal watchin' Simon. She's barefoot again, makin' no noise as she walks across the room, as carefully as if stalkin' a deer. She sits down on the floor, near but not touchin', and looks up at Mal, brushing her hair back out of her face.
"You don't know that for sure."
"If he finds out. We'll hurt him. We should..."
That ain't what he wants to hear. What he wants to hear is some way round what he's been thinkin', some way to do the decent thing without losin' either of them that have wormed their way into his heart and didn't disturb the alarm bells soon enough. He looks down at Simon, brushing his rough fingers over his smooth cheek, and shakes his head at River. "I don't want to hurt him."
"But you will."
"So what are you suggestin', little one?"
She gathers herself up, hugging her knees and letting her hair go, letting it tumble into her face. Her expression is serious and thoughtful, edged around with premature hurt, and Mal reaches for her.
"River -- "
"Sshh," she warns, pullin' away from his hand. "We should stop. Stop... doing what we do. For Simon's sake."
The hurt on her face is, he realises, entirely his fault, and all because he wanted to play with a little fire. His mother might once 've told him not to play with fire, that someone would always get hurt -- but if she had, he'd never thought to listen. Now he's gettin' a short sharp lesson in it, and, he smiles inwardly, wryly, it'll probably do him good if it don't kill him.
"River, I... Look, I don't want to lose you, 'kay? Or him. And... I don't want to hurt either one o' you."
"You'll hurt him if we don't -- "
"I'll hurt you, if we do."
She bites her lip, hard, colour bleaching away, and he reaches for her again, slipping down from Simon's bed to the floor to wrap an arm around her and straightenin' out his legs, forcin' her to come close. It always feels good to hold them -- both o' them fit into his arms so well -- so he holds her, smaller and more fragile than her brother in seemin', but, he thinks, probably stronger than him and her brother combined when it comes to spirit.
Not so strong she ain't hurtin', though.
"Sailor used to get bad luck if he killed an albatross," he says, softly, "an' I don't want an albatross 'round my neck."
She clings to him, and nods, hidin' her face in his shoulder. For once, he picked someone right for him, two people right for him, but he's such a darned idiot that mayhap he'll lose both, and that's not fair, but it's livin'. He strokes her hair carefully and lets her fall asleep there, and puts her on the bed next to Simon before he goes.
Turns to glance at 'em once more before he goes off to do captainy things, and smiles with the happy pain of it.