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FFTSW: Guilt
Fandom: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Pairing: Neil/Jane
Warnings: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Jane killed Neil's brother. For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
_overthefantasy.
Neil had a brother.
He was just a kid when he died and it was Jane's fault. Of course, Neil doesn't think that, but Jane does. Jane remembers all too painfully the look on Neil's face when she got back from securing a building, helping people out, and he asked her and -- she hadn't seen him.
She should have seen him. She should have.
The look on Neil's face made her realise, stupidly, that he was more than a flirt, more than just a comrade. That she'd already started to have more than comradely -- and more than friendly -- feelings for him. And now she'd messed it up. One minute he was a flirt, trying to get her into a relationship with him -- the next his brother was dead, his brother, and it was her fault no matter what anyone said.
Oh yeah. She'd fucked up good.
He'd been a kid, too, a little boy in that last part of what people still liked to call childhood but wasn't really -- childhood was a precious commodity nowadays that everyone craved, whether to have one in the first place or return to it, but in the world of constant fear -- there was no place for children. They had their crying and screaming for attention, they had their first steps, and then they were expected to take their places.
They were expected to prepare themselves for -- for whatever might come.
She has nightmares of the boy's death. It happens some different way every time, of course, it might be easier to get used to if it was the same each time. She might've been able to desensitive herself to the imaginings of a little boy, crying for someone to help him and then --
And then silent, his soul stolen.
For days she couldn't even look Neil in the eye. Even now it's hard -- knowing that he doesn't blame her, believing that he should.
Pairing: Neil/Jane
Warnings: Angst
Rating: G
Summary: Jane killed Neil's brother. For
_overthefantasy.Neil had a brother.
He was just a kid when he died and it was Jane's fault. Of course, Neil doesn't think that, but Jane does. Jane remembers all too painfully the look on Neil's face when she got back from securing a building, helping people out, and he asked her and -- she hadn't seen him.
She should have seen him. She should have.
The look on Neil's face made her realise, stupidly, that he was more than a flirt, more than just a comrade. That she'd already started to have more than comradely -- and more than friendly -- feelings for him. And now she'd messed it up. One minute he was a flirt, trying to get her into a relationship with him -- the next his brother was dead, his brother, and it was her fault no matter what anyone said.
Oh yeah. She'd fucked up good.
He'd been a kid, too, a little boy in that last part of what people still liked to call childhood but wasn't really -- childhood was a precious commodity nowadays that everyone craved, whether to have one in the first place or return to it, but in the world of constant fear -- there was no place for children. They had their crying and screaming for attention, they had their first steps, and then they were expected to take their places.
They were expected to prepare themselves for -- for whatever might come.
She has nightmares of the boy's death. It happens some different way every time, of course, it might be easier to get used to if it was the same each time. She might've been able to desensitive herself to the imaginings of a little boy, crying for someone to help him and then --
And then silent, his soul stolen.
For days she couldn't even look Neil in the eye. Even now it's hard -- knowing that he doesn't blame her, believing that he should.